Buying your first home is a huge milestone, but at the same time it can be intimidating. Especially in today’s social media-driven world, first-time home buyers may tend to look at what other home buyers have purchased and compare their situation to that. Social media users more often than not only highlight the best parts of their homebuying journey—new keys, dream kitchens, and seemingly effortless success. What most don’t show is the challenges that they went through, the compromises they had to make, or the financial planning that played a major part in making that purchase.
If you are a first-time homebuyer and taking that step into homeownership, keeping your expectations realistic and not comparing your situation to others will make the journey smoother and more enjoyable.
My First Homebuying Experience
In 2011 I made the decision to purchase my first home. At that time I was definitely questioning if I was making the right decision. Most real estate markets were still hurting from the real estate crash of 2008. At the time I was an active duty member of the Coast Guard, and I remember telling myself that my best use of the Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) would be to help pay down a mortgage.
So, in January 2011 I made the commitment, got a pre-qualification, and hired a realtor. I must’ve looked at close to 20 homes, made one offer (got rejected), and then got into contract for a new development. I thought I knew what I wanted, and thankfully for me social media was not as prevalent then as it is now. I got cold feet and ended up canceling my contract for the new home purchase, and felt it was not the right time to buy. Then around 6 months later I made the decision to commit to buying my first home.
At that time I only looked at new developments and ended up going to contract in May of 2012, and closed on the home in December of that same year. Thankfully for me, I had my VA entitlement which allowed me to only put down $5,000 and not the typically required 20%. But I still ensured that I put myself into a financial position where I had no car payments, no personal loans, and no balances on my credit cards. The decision to be financially responsible made homeownership a reality.
I owned that home for just under three years before selling it and upgrading to a bigger home—one we consider our forever home. When we sold, we walked away with $125,000 in equity before closing costs. That equity became the down payment for our next home, putting us in a much stronger financial position.
That first home wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t our forever home. But it was a smart first step, one that allowed us to build wealth and move up when the time was right.
Set Expectations Based on Your Situation, Not Someone Else’s
Everyone is on their own journey, and what worked for me more than likely will not work for someone else. Here are some tips on staying grounded and managing your expectations:
1. Know Your Budget—And Stick to It
Your first step should be to work with a lender early so that you can understand your financial picture, and be realistic about what you can afford. You may feel pressured to stretch your budget if you compare your situation to others. Know your budget – and stick with it!
2. Expect to Compromise
There are three categories to consider when buying a home and they are price, location, and the home itself. Very rarely do first-time home buyers find a home that checks off all three of those boxes for them. You have to learn to accept the fact that you may have to compromise. My first home was not my dream home, but it was a smart investment that helped my family build wealth. Prioritize your must-haves over your nice-to-haves, and remember that you can complete upgrades later.
3. The Market Dictates the Pace
Understand what real estate market you are entering. Is it a sellers market or a buyers market? Some buyers may find a home quickly; others may take months or over a year like it did for me. If inventory is low, competition is fierce, or interest rates fluctuate, you may need to adjust your strategy. Be patient, trust the process, and don’t rush because someone else on social media closed fast.
4. Emotions Will Run High—Stay Grounded
Buying a home is an emotional rollercoaster. You may lose out on a home you loved, face unexpected costs, or deal with delays. I’ve been there, and I know how frustrating it can be. I’m a true believer that everything happens for a reason. The first home I purchased was not the first or second home I made an offer on. Our second home was also not our first choice, in fact it is a 2-story home and we wanted a single-story home. But in the end both homes were the most ideal for us, we truly loved and miss our first home, and our current home is our forever home. Stay focused on the end goal: finding a home that fits your needs.
5. Your First Home is a Stepping Stone
As I have mentioned, our first home was not our forever home. But it was the perfect home that fit our needs at the time. There are very few first-time buyers who have the luxury to purchase their forever home. Instead of focusing on perfection, think about how a home fits your current and near-future lifestyle. My first home allowed me to build enough equity to move up to the home that we have made our forever home. Buying that first home was one of the best financial decisions I’ve made, even though it wasn’t our dream home at the time.
Final Thoughts
Homeownership is a journey, not a competition. As a first-time homebuyer you must remember to find a home that fits your needs. Social media often shows only the wins, making it seem like everyone else is buying bigger, better homes with no stress or compromise. That’s not reality.
Instead of comparing your process to others, focus on your financial situation, your long-term goals, and what makes sense for you. A home is one of the biggest investments you’ll make, and approaching it with the right mindset will set you up for long-term success.
If you’re thinking about buying your first home and want guidance from someone who’s been through it, let’s connect. I’d love to help you navigate the process with realistic expectations and a strategy that works for you.